"Global Warming" No Longer Politically Correct?

Oh global warming, we hardly knew ye...

It was just a matter of time before liberals started to run for the hills away from the global warming hysteria. In a laughable article by the New York Times' Thomas L. Friedman, America's "confusion" about climate change is being blamed for China's future success as a green superpower. Confusion about climate change? You mean there's a new debate in town?

Remember, ever since the 1990's, through celebrated events like the Rio de Janeiro "earth summit," global warming was the hot-button issue. Al Gore's book, Earth in the Balance, was about the impending doom of global warming, not just climate change. In fact, if you wrote or spoke about "climate change" at any of the myriad earth summits since Rio, you would have been looked at as a weirdo. No, the "debate" that was supposedly over all these years was about global warming. Period. End of Story. Conservative skeptics are "flat earthers" because they challenged global warming. So what gives?

Speaking of weirdos, Friedman has a great idea. What was that term people used to use about the planet? What was it, global warming or something? We intelligent liberals have to once again teach those silly little conservatives, those insufferable children, how to think and act. So let's coin a phrase even those small little minds can grasp:

"global weirding".

You know, when it snows like heck just when you thought the planet was burning up? Liberal minds understand it, but our poor dumb conservative brothers are, well, conservative.

One of Friedman's ideas is, "...the climate-science community should convene its top experts — from places like NASA, America’s national laboratories, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Stanford, the California Institute of Technology and the U.K. Met Office Hadley Centre — and produce a simple 50-page report. They could call it “What We Know,” summarizing everything we already know about climate change in language that a sixth grader could understand, with unimpeachable peer-reviewed footnotes". He is more concerned that "climate confusion" (my term) would lead to inaction: on clean tech investments, green jobs, and less dependence on oil.

So the answer is re-education. Avoid the phrase "global warming" and use climate change instead. When you're talking to fellow liberals, of course. When you absolutely must scold a pouty-lipped conservative, use "global weirding." Don't waste your time trying to explain why we need the new phrase. When you say things like "political correctness" it makes their little heads explode. And don't tell them about climate-gate, or how the entire past few decades of global warming activism has to be erased from everyone's mind. After all, what counts is the results, not any fictitious debate about the climate warming, changing or weirding. We need sensible action now: bigger government, heavy taxes followed by heavier global taxes, and a green jobless economy.

Welcome to the world of weird science.